How did we get here?
by Greys404
Summary: Booth questions himself when Bones gets a new boyfriend. What things does he do because of an argument? What is Brennan feeling and why is she pushing Booth away?
1. Why do you stand over there?

**_I know I have not updated my other story when I said I would but I now have more time which equals more updates!_**

**_This idea would not leave my head, therefore Tada!_**

_**Disclaimer: Property of FOX.**__** I do not own Bones or any of it's characters.**_

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She walked into the room, full of control. Her determined walking and professional face was enticing.

But I should not have been aware of these things. I wasn't supposed to be. She's supposed to be my partner.

Her long legs, her sensual curves, her kissable lips - no I shouldn't have noticed these traits, but I did anyways.

I wasn't above a fantasy or two about women, but with her it seems like she was the dominating factor in mine since the moment I set eyes on her.

All the places we frequent - hell everywhere we go together is somewhere I wouldn't mind being with her as long as **I** was with her.

That all seems impossible now though. She's dating her newest flame and I have a strong inclination of dislike towards this guy.

Who is she to have all the fun while I stay home and attend to my own needs? Why does she get to have a night with someone else and ditch my obvious attempts at friendly conversation?

I know why- it's because she doesn't know. She doesn't have a clue about what I think or what I feel when it comes down to her.

And who's to blame? Me. I haven't tried to put myself out there in awhile because Bones is all I think about. Just the thought of her being with another man drives me crazy and the thought of me with another woman, well that would feel like violating the bond between us.

If she keeps on dating these guys -I know I will snap. There is no other explanation for my actions unless the answer is the forbidden thought, the hidden secret - those three little words.

No, it can't be love...can it?

When people get as close as Bones and I have, it's called _love_.

But with us- well we aren't like normal people so it will probably take us a bit longer to even consider that possibility.

Now with Bones it might be even longer than long. But I know she's worth the wait.

So I smile and I sit on her couch and watch her type away on her computer. Before I get a word out, she speaks.

'What is it Booth? I'm on a tight schedule and I don't have time for social calls.'

I was taken aback by her cold tone. I hadn't heard that voice unless she was talking to someone she really didn't like.

'Whoa, No need to jump down my throat I was thinking of grabbing a cup of coffee and catching up. I hardly ever see you anymore.'

'Well Booth, we are partners we aren't required to spend time with each other outside of work. And I have other responsibilities... I'm giving my relationship a real chance.'

I was shaken. How could she boil down everything we have together to just partners? Surely she knows how wrong those two words are to describe us?

'So spending time with me outside of work is so much trouble for you that you don't even give a damn? Is your boyfriend that important that you can't make time for your friends?'

'You're my partner and that's it. Get over it Booth. Now if there's nothing else please leave I have a lot of work to do.'

My anger spiked.

'I'm not going anywhere. Tell me the real reason you won't take a break with me. Am I that bad to be seen with?'

'What!? Come on Booth, be serious.'

'No Bones tell me' I then stood up and made my way over to her desk.

"Why this sudden change of heart? Why are you so consumed with this guy? Is he that amazing that you feel like you can't be apart? Does he make you feel like you're the only person in the world when you look into his eyes? Or is he just another conquest for the great Temperance Brennan? I'd really like to know because I don't know why you would intentionally ignore me when I'm making an effort."

By this time I was fuming mad. Why did she distract herself with these men when I was here just waiting to be seen in the light of a lover? Why did she brush me off like I meant nothing to her?

'Fuck you Booth. You don't know anything about me or my boyfriend so just stay out of my personal life. You are my partner don't think anything more of it.'

Her last statement shook me and affected me more than I thought it could. She flat out told me she didn't think of me as anything more than a partner.

When her eyes met mine, the dejected look in my eyes spoke volumes and I just walked out of her office without a backward glance. I paused at the doorway and whispered loud enough so only she could hear,

'Goodbye Bones.'

I didn't turn around even when I heard her yell my name.

I exited the building feeling lonely and betrayed. I somehow found the strength to make my way over to the Hoover, knowing what I needed to do and how much I hated having to do it.

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**_Any thoughts? All opinions welcome ;)_**


	2. I can't say it doesn't hurt

_**Just a quick update :)**_

_**More will come when this week is over so let me know if what you guys want :)**_

**Disclaimer: Property of FOX . I do not own Bones or any of it's characters.**

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I should have told him. I should have let him tear down the last of my walls and finally capture my frozen heart that has been unthawing since I met him.

I constantly distract myself with these men who in comparison to Booth don't stand a chance.

Maybe that's why I _tried _to distance myself from him. The way he looks at me conveys more emotion than an evening with some other guy. But I can't help myself; he's just too persistent in his methods.

I saw it in his face when I told him I was dating Robert. He tried to play it off, made some funny gesture with his eyebrows but a glimmer of pain still underlined his tone.

Why can he do this to me? How can one person mesmerize you completely even when you feel like you are entranced with someone else?

The day I met Robert I told myself I would give this relationship a chance. I would go out with him and I would actually make an effort. At first it entertained me. His view on the world was similar to mine and we had some things in common. But as time wore on, I started comparing him to Booth. All of his actions, the way he talked, his jokes and his one attempt to call me _Bones_ left me reeling with pent up anger. His manners then started to become less invasive and more relaxed around me – a companion if you will.

With this, I became more reserved and more ignorant towards Booth. If he saw the look in my eyes when I talked to him, I wouldn't live it down. It would give too much away. I don't love Robert, I don't even like him all that much but I know now that if I ever let myself believe I had a chance with Booth, that it would cause much more heartache than I was ready for.

It's not logical for someone to see you and just know everything about you. Its not normal for someone to look at you and you feel as if you cant breathe or that not breathing was welcoming if they just touched you.

I cannot imagine my life without Booth but yet again what scares me the most is that I could picture my life with Booth very vividly. This notion that I could have what my fantasy offers shakes me down to my core and I know that Booth would not accept my proposal to push beyond this infuriating line. He wants it to mean something and damn him that I know that I want it to mean something too. But if it doesn't work out then everything will be gone. I care about him too much to let him believe everything will be fine when I can't know it will.

He is the person I thought of when he said there's only one person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. That one person who looks at you and captures your breath, your heart and everything else in one look is someone to hold onto. I need him more than I ever thought I would need somebody and that thought alone belittles me into a cold fish only looking out for herself when in reality, I'm protecting Booth from me.

This is exactly what I hoped to avoid, this interior battle that has been brought to the surface and I must say my course of dealing with Booth left me disappointed.

The look in his eyes burned my heart and I must say I can't blame him for whatever he does next.

Little did I know, the next thing he would do next would not only damage the heart I gave to him subconsciously so long ago - _it would shatter it._

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_What did y'all think? Feedback is greatly appreciated :)_

_on another note: ALL NEW **BONES** TOMORROW :)  
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